There are many marriages that last a lifetime, some only last a few years and then there are some that only make it a couple of months. Studies are being conducted as to the reason behind the increased rate of divorce among couples and what the main causes for them are.
A study conducted by psychologists and divorce lawyers came up with top five reasons couples get a divorce. They are as follows:
1. They are not committed to each other
The idea of a wedding is often so exciting that couples get swept up in all the extravagant planning of the gowns, the romantic honeymoon and all the exciting celebrations that go along with it. The whole idea of marriage is based on this special day they are planning and they aren’t giving enough thought to what it will actually be like to live with this person for years to come.
One research conducted by the National Fatherhood Initiative showed it was a lack of commitment as being the biggest reason for divorce. Couples become lazy or one of the spouses will no longer attempt to work out problems whether they are emotional, physical or mental. For such people, it becomes easier to get a divorce and dissolve the marriage rather than work out problems.
2. Couples argue too much
Couples have admitted that by getting married they thought they would work out their differences over time. This rarely if ever, is the case as high conflict relationships do not usually stand the test of time. The most destructive type of arguing is where one spouse always has to be the winner. A lot of couples will continue to argue a subject until one gives in. If this becomes the pattern of the arguments, the loser will eventually become frustrated and start fighting back. This is when petty arguments turn into more serious ones that eventually have the couples deciding they have had enough arguing and just want to get a divorce.
3. Lack of communication
In some couples when communication breaks down and they begin to under appreciate each other, devalue or fail to understand each other’s point of view; the marriage begins to fail. Marriage should be about mutual respect for each other and where both look out for the other. The marriage begins to fall apart when one or both negatively judge the other, criticize too much or over-use sarcasm when referring to each other.
In some marriages competition and encouragement is healthy and it can inspire both spouses, but in others it turns into rivalry and a constant battle to outdo the other.
Men and women see love in different ways. Women tend to look at love as caring, understanding, loyalty and recognition. Men tend to look at love as appreciation, approval, admiration and acceptance. It takes a basic understanding of this difference and knowing how your spouse thinks so that mutual appreciation can be gained. Partners need to care for each other in ways they will both value.
Cheating on your spouse is the cause for over 50% of marriages. Experts report that cheating on your spouse usually begins as one spouse or the other goes looking for emotional support in someone other than their spouse. The emotional affair eventually turns into physical ones and while many couples say they will try and work out the situation, that loss of trust is often hard to restore. Many times a spouse who has been cheated on will either intentionally or subconsciously push their partner away. If trust has been dissolved in a relationship, loss of respect will soon follow.
5. Getting married too young
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that almost half of all teenage marriages will dissolve during the first fifteen years. Couples who wait to marry until they are in their mid-twenties, shows number fall to under 40 percent. These are the years where we all go through life-altering and character building experiences from being on their own. This is when we move out of our parents’ home and set up our own, enter college or begin our careers.
During these life-altering years, couples will often grow up and find they have grown apart. Priorities change as a person grows and often couples who marry too young find their priorities don’t match and they begin to drift apart. When couples find they have “outgrown” each other, they often get a divorce.